Joy, Happiness, Duty, or Love?

Rod Dreher and Damon Linker have had a bit of a back and forth regarding Jennifer Senior's article which asks why modern day parenting leads to unhappiness. Dreher proposes that parenting is not about happiness, but about joy and that happiness is transformed into joy in the sacrifice.  Linker takes him on by saying his position is too Kantian in choosing duty over self indulgence and calling it joy; that there has to be a more integrated, less polarizing way of looking at raising children based on the Aristotelian philosophy of happiness.  (Senior touches on this at the end of her article.) 

My mind keeps recalling the Wendell Berry book titled, What are People For?.  Isn't that a great title?  I imagine how one answers that question will reveal a great deal about, not only one's relationship with one's children, but also with all other relationships.  People aren't for using, to bring us joy or happiness, or to whom we must perform some sort of duty.  People are for loving and relating.  It's not easy and it goes beyond mere affection, but in the end, that is what people are for.  When one loves another, one forgets oneself and the evaluation of one's own happiness doesn't take place, because one's thoughts are of the other.  A true humility is present.

A loving parent changing a diaper isn't getting any happiness per se, but neither is he just doing his duty in this task.  The task is done for the good and health of the child.  In doing the task, he is building the relationship on trust and kindness.  In our family, diaper changing was often a time of singing and conversing, because we were relating to and caring for our child, a fellow human, made in the image of God.

This idea that another person is going to make one happy or bring fulfillment is very damaging to both parties.  It will lead to constant frustration, disappointment and blaming the other for one's misery.  The fact that so many surveys have been taken to measure parents' happiness, as is detailed in Senior's piece, is quite telling in itself.  You may not be evaluating your happiness, but some social scientist wants to.  I can't help but wonder why and to what purpose.   Are children now seen by society at large as a net loss?  It is starting to look that way.

Love looks out for the other, cares for the other, hopes for the good of the other.  In the words of St. Paul, Love never fails. I hope someone develops a survey to ascertain if having children encourages adults to be more loving.

Who's Winning?

Another hat tip to Rod Dreher.  He's been blogging about Stephen Prothero's new book titled God is Not One, which points out what should be obvious, that the world religions are not the same.  They ask different questions, give different answers and define what it means to be human differently.  Now Prothero's been interviewed by Stephen Colbert.

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Stephen Prothero
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Fox News

I like that Colbert is willing to humorously interview religious writers and thinkers.  So much of the time issues of faith are removed from the public square.  Here's an interview with N.T. Wright.

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Bishop N.T. Wright
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Fox News

And here's another with scientist and Christian Francis Collins.

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Francis Collins
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Fox News

In What Time Do You Live?

Hat tip to Rod Dreher for this educational and entertaining video, The Secret Powers of Time.  In it, time perspective is described by where one lives in relation to the equator, but then is also described by how one's brain is rewired by the use of technology.  One thing in particular that I think is significant, is the speaker, Philip Zimbardo's  description of schools.  He says that schools are passive.  I think this is accurate, but regrettable.  Real learning is active and engaged.  This is what John Taylor Gatto describes so well in his book, Dumbing Us Down, when he describes what schools do is everything but provide students with an education.  Yes, I know there are many wonderful teachers out there, but the good ones are always having to find a way to work around the system of public and often private educational institutions.

Western Evangelical Crack-up

Over at Rod Dreher's blog he asks, "Are you a Christian hipster?",  and links to this quiz which is set on a website about the book  Hipster Christianity, by Brett McCracken.  It is an interesting take on what's going on in Protestant circles today.  Are these signs of hipness really just signs of Evangelicals looking for a more meaningful way of worshiping and living out their daily life in a way consistent with their Christian faith?  I'm not talking about the person who's trying to be hip, as in the ironic video in my previous post, but those who are really trying to let their faith form how they live rather than allowing certain western cultural norms define their faith.

A while back, I posted about an article the late Michael Spencer wrote for The Christian Science Monitor, titled, The Coming Evangelical Collapse.  I think this hipness is a sign of the collapse, or perhaps it's reformation.

For what it's worth, here is my quiz result.

Your Christian Hipster Quotient:
86 / 120

High CHQ. You are a pretty progressive, stylish, hipster-leaning Christian, even while you could easily feel at home in a decidedly un-hip non-denominational church. You are conservative on some issues and liberal on others, and sometimes you grow weary of trendy "alt-Christianity." But make no mistake: You are a Christian hipster to at least some degree.

I don't think anyone who has read much of what I've written would think I'd be comfortable in a non-denominational congregation, which here in the States, usually means free form, seeker friendly, non-liturgical.

If you take the quiz, check out the whole website.  Kind of funny what is being defined as hip, like being well read!

Rickrolling

Rod Dreher first introduced me to Rickrolling, an occurrence when one opens a link or post only to find one's opened a portal to a Rick Astley video. He's found another way to be Rickrolled. Try not to cry, all you die hard Nirvana fans - this is fun stuff.