The C.S. Lewis Bible

Those of you who know me personally or through this blog will appreciate that I have a great love for C.S. Lewis.  His writings convey wisdom, intellect and character with great transparency, so much so that one who reads him widely and deeply gain a sense of really knowing the man.  This said, it may surprise some to know that the newest publication of some of his works leaves me apprehensive.  The latest publication is, The C.S. Lewis Bible.

Ever since reading my dad's Ryrie Study Bible as a teen and perceiving a definite slant in the commentary, I've been hesitant to purchase a study Bible.  I like my Bible straight.  I even refrain from making notes in my own Bible so as not to influence or dampen what the Holy Spirit may bring to mind in subsequent readings.  This is not to say that I do not recommend commentaries. I do.  But I recommend reading several and reading them after having read the passage in the Bible on which is being commented, so that one receives the full affect of scripture before anyone's further interpretation.

I also like Lewis straight and in context.  He was such a wise and prolific writer, that to find quotes about almost any aspect of life is easy and often helpful when trying to grasp an issue.  One of the contributors to the new C.S. Lewis Bible, Jerry Root, whom I've had to good pleasure to meet and learn from when he came to Roanoke to speak on Lewis, has even co-edited a book of Lewis quotations, The Quotable Lewis.  This is a great reference book, particularly when one remembers a quote from Lewis but can't remember which of his many books or letters from which it comes.  However, I would never recommend taking this book and reading these snippets in order to grasp Lewis' thoughts, yet this is what this new Bible has done.  Lewis himself hasn't written commentary of the scripture, but quotes of his which are thought to relate to a passage of scripture are printed as his commentary.  As with any great thinker, one should read what is written in context to gain a fuller understanding of the thoughts behind the quote. 

The final reason which causes my apprehension is that I think Lewis himself would be appalled to have a Bible named after him.  Lewis was a very humble man, insisting that he was just a layman and not an expert on scripture or church matters.  He even turned down Knighthood when offered to him, though he held the idea of knighthood very highly.  While it seems a great honour, and I'm sure many if not all of those who worked on this project had the very best of intentions, I don't think Lewis himself will be very pleased.

To learn a bit more about this study Bible, listen to this podcast over at Books and Culture website.

Advent: A Time To Prepare

Jesus said to the disciples, "For as the days of Noah were, so will be the coming of the Son of Man. For as in those days before the flood they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day Noah entered the ark, and they knew nothing until the flood came and swept them all away, so too will be the coming of the Son of Man. Then two will be in the field; one will be taken and one will be left. Two women will be grinding meal together; one will be taken and one will be left. Keep awake therefore, for you do not know on what day your Lord is coming. But understand this: if the owner of the house had known in what part of the night the thief was coming, he would have stayed awake and would not have let his house be broken into. Therefore you also must be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an unexpected hour.  Matthew 24:37-44

Today is the first Sunday in Advent.  I love Advent and it has become my favorite church season.   Begun in 367 AD by Hilary de Poitiers as a three week preparation for Christmas, it is a time of preparation, expectation and hope.  Yes, Jesus has come, he is indeed God incarnate, yet he is coming again.  I suppose for me, waiting for the eschaton becomes more real for me during this time.  How can I prepare?  As Archbishop Rowan Williams asks, "What will happen if Jesus is allowed into my life more fully and radically?"

So, to prepare will take time, time to study, to pray, to reflect.  Already my schedule is filled - every weekend taken up with choir and ballet rehearsals and performances, and there is the shopping to do, along with normal life and responsibilities.  It's as though Satan has devised a way that leaves us more exhausted, more depleted, so that by the time of Christmas and celebration, we no long want to hear another Christmas hymn or attend another gathering, or give to another worthy cause, because we and our bank accounts are spent.  I don't want it to be this way and I'll have to think more about what this may mean to be able to work around what has already been committed to this year, but also to better plan for the next.

Following is a wonderful Advent message given by Archbishop Williams.  I hope you find it as much a blessing and inspiration as I have.

Thanksgiving and The Great Thanksgiving

I came across this cartoon this evening.

It reminded me of what Alexander Schmemann wrote in For the Life of the World.

And in the Bible to bless God is not a “religious” or a “cultic” act, but the very way of life. God blessed the world, blessed man, blessed the seventh day (that is time), and this means that he filled all that exists with His love and goodness, made all this “very good.” So the only natural (and not “supernatural”) reaction of man to whom God gave this blessed and sanctified world, is to bless God in return, to thank Him, to see the world as God sees it and — in this act of gratitude and adoration — to know, name and possess the world. All rational, spiritual and other qualities of man, distinguishing him from other creatures, have their focus and ultimate fulfillment in this capacity to bless God, to know, so to speak, the meaning of the thirst and hunger that constitutes his life. “Homo sapiens,” “homo faber” … yes, but first of all, “homo adorans.” The first, the basic definition of man is that he is the priest. He stands in the center of the world and unifies it in his act of blessing God, of both receiving the world from God and offering it to God — and by filling the world with this eucharist, he transforms his life, the one that he receives from the world, into life in God, into communion with Him. The world was created as the “matter,” the material of one all-embracing eucharist, and man was created as the priest of this cosmic sacrament.

The word eucharist means thanksgiving.  Every Sunday, we meet to join in the Great Thanksgiving, but what about every other day, or every other minute for that matter?  As Schmemann said, every moment is to be lived eucharistically, thankfully, recognizing the One who has blessed us.  Schmemann goes on to say that when mankind ate of the food in the garden which was not given as a blessing, it was eaten not as communion with God but as an end in itself.  Because of this we are now inclined to forget God, to become dependent on the food itself or powers or fate and without communion with God, there is no life.

Of course, God has not left us to this fate.  He has come down, to rescue us, to transform us, that we may again live our lives in continuous communion with him, Father, Son and Holy Spirit.  We are once again, receiving the blessing of this world and in our role as priest, able to bless God in return.

May you have a blessed Thanksgiving!

High Culture's Answer To The Flash Mob

Or, as my husband said, "The veil became a little thinner at Macy's."

Enjoy.



H/T to Jean McDermott

The One I Love, Whose Name I Do Not Know

When our baby died almost a year ago it was only a tiny little fetus.  I did not have the opportunity to hold, name, (though while I was pregnant, our girls would call the baby, P.E.R.C.- the initials of names we were considering), or say goodbye .  Our dear friend and pastor, Gerry offered to hold a funeral for our child, but David and I decided not to have one.  I wonder now if that had been the right choice.  When babies die this way, this early, there seems to be an expectation in our society that we are to 'move on' and not spend too much time grieving, and I'm sure that influenced our decision.

Today is All Saints Sunday.  As I wrote in my previous post, November 1st was All Saints Day, but many congregations will remember those who have died in Christ today.  David and I talked about if we should include our baby among those who will be remembered, and I spoke with another dear friend and pastor, Mark, and we've made a different kind of decision for today.  Today, when the names of those in our congregation who have died this past year are named and remembered, our little one will be remembered too, as Baby Hawkins.  I wish we had a name for him or her, but I know she or he is not without one.  Revelation 2:17 says:

To the one who conquers I will give some of the hidden manna, and I will give him a white stone, with a new name written on the stone that no one knows except the one who receives it.

C.S. Lewis writes of this verse in The Problem of Pain, 

What can be more a man's own than this new name which even in eternity remains a secret between God and him? And what shall we take this secrecy to mean? Surely, that each of the redeemed shall forever know and praise some one aspect of the divine beauty better than any other creature can. Why else were individuals created, but that God, loving all infinitely, should love each differently? And this difference, so far from impairing, floods with meaning the love of all blessed creatures for one another, the communion of the saints. If all experienced God in the same way and returned Him an identical worship, the song of the church triumphant would have no symphony, it would be like an orchestra in which all the instruments played the same note. Aristotle has told us that a city is a unity of unlikes, and St. Paul that a body is a unity of different members. Heaven is a city, and a Body, because the blessed remain eternally different: a society, because each has something to tell all the others - fresh and ever fresh news of the 'My God' whom each finds in Him whom all praise as 'Our God.' For doubtless the continually successful, yet never completed, attempt by each soul to communicate its unique vision to all others (and that by means whereof earthly art and philosophy are but clumsy imitations) is also among the ends for which the individual was created.

Our child has a name, one more perfect and revealing than our family could have chosen, given by the One who loves perfectly, just as all the saints do.  Today is a day we don't just 'move on' or any other such ridiculous notion, but we remember, even as we look forward in hope. 

All Hallows' Eve

I am of a different mind ten times in the course of a day. But I resist the devil, and often it is with a fart that I chase him away. When he tempts me with silly sins I say, “Devil, yesterday I broke wind too. Have you written it down on your list?”

The best way to drive out the devil, if he will not yield to texts of Scripture, is to jeer and flout him, for he cannot bear scorn.

- Martin Luther

Tomorrow is All Saints Day, when we remember all who have died  in the Lord.  Today, or technically tonight, is All Hallows' Eve, or Halloween.  All Hallows' Eve, historically, is a day when the Christian community has said to Satan, "You have no power over us.  Our Lord has defeated you and the powers of sin and death, therefore, we trust in his love and power and will be victorious."  Thus comes the tradition of dressing up in costumes - to mock Satan.


It is also Reformation Day and for many Protestants, the day when we commemorate the reformation of the church. Is it any wonder that Martin Luther, who struggled mightily with Satan and accepting Christ's power of forgiveness and atonement, would choose All Hallows' Eve to nail his Ninety-five Thesis to the door of the church in Wittenberg?  This document that mainly challenged the use of indulgences required by the Church to pay for one's self or loved ones out of the punishment of purgatory, would be seen by many.  (Unknown to Luther, it was soon after printed in the vernacular so that it could be read by even more.)  A very daring act for a monk and teacher in the Church.  An act that flouted and dared the powers of evil which had become entrenched in the hierarchy of the Church at that time.

This day is largely a secular holiday in the States. While I don't minimize the destruction that can be done with the wrong attitude, I really hope that soon, we who are Christians can reclaim the attitude and perspective in which it began nearly two thousand years ago.  This is a day to remember whose world this really is, and that for the spirits and forces that would destroy, their power is not only limited, but has an expiration date.

C.S. Lewis says in his preface to The Screwtape Letters,

There are two equal and opposite errors into which our race can fall about the devils. One is to disbelieve in their existence. The other is to believe, and to feel an excessive and unhealthy interest in them. They themselves are equally pleased by both errors and hail a materialist or a magician with the same delight.

So, today, to the Devil who would tempt and discourage and destroy, I say, "Boo!", and remember all those who've gone before me, who in word and deed, often at great sacrifice, did the same.

Almighty God,
your saints are one with you
in the mystical body of Christ:
give us grace to follow them
in all virtue and holiness
until we come to those inexpressible joys
which you have prepared for those
who truly love you;

through Jesus Christ our Lord,
who is alive with you in the unity of the Holy Spirit,
one God now and for ever.
Amen.

Happy St. Crispin's Day

Named for the twin martyrs, Crispinus and Crispianus, c 286 A.D.. Though no longer noted on the Roman liturgical calendar, it remains in the Anglican Book of Common Prayer.

The St. Crispin's Day speech from Shakespeare's, Henry V, given by King Henry to rally the troops for the Battle of Agincourt, is portrayed here by Kenneth Brannagh.

Evolution, Devolution, Revolution Part 1

It is amazing to me what significance the book of Genesis has on our understanding of God, life and how we view the world.  With all the debates among Christians about whether evolution can be accepted, too often other questions and meanings get lost in the debate.  A couple of weeks ago, I read two articles; one by Rachel Held Evans and the other by Lisa Dye.  Both are about Genesis and both are about truth, but from very different angles.

Evolution is an enormous object of interest to many American Christians.  One facet totally refutes evolution, seeing it as contrary to scripture, while another holds a more nuanced view and works at reconciling both biblical and scientific truth.  I hold to the second view.  From the time I was in second grade and asked my dad how there could be real dinosaur bones buried in the ground, (I assume up until that point I believed dinosaurs to be a myth, but my memory is unclear on this point.), and he answered that they must have really been here, I have worked at figuring out how this could be.

When I was in college, the church my parents began attending had a wonderful video series in their library, titled, Does God Exist ?, which held multiple lessons by John Clayton, a scientist and high school science teacher.  Through these, he taught some of the fallacies evolutionists have taught along the way, but he didn't dismiss everything that they taught.  The point of the series was of course a defense of the Christian faith, but there were so many answers, or potential answers to my questions, that I poured over the series multiple times.

After I left college and become more well read, I discovered that a majority of the Christian authors I loved and respected had no problem with this reconciliation.  I was also encountering more Christians personally that were of this same mind.  Granted, the majority that I knew were still anti evolution, but as  my horizons were broadening and I learned more, there was a real burden that was lightening.  This is the kind of stuff that can keep me up at night, so as Evans explains in her article, I didn't have to choose between the two.  They didn't cancel each other out, and as I studied more, I found just how complimentary they could be.

There are still areas that are unclear, which I will write about soon, but I wanted to get this series started with a bit of my background and understanding, then move onto some of the theological challenges in understanding scripture and the universe God created.

Worship For Mission

I had a conversation the other day with a friend.  We were discussing the purpose of worship on Sundays, when we come together for word and sacrament.  I shared my disagreement with the idea of using that time of worship largely or primarily for evangelism.  That the time together is for the body of Christ, to confess our sins, hear his word and receive him in the bread and the wine.  It is a time for strengthening the body of Christ to go into the world, our neighborhoods and be Christ to the people we meet, to invite them into our lives.

Just last night, I was reading of Jesus and the disciples on the road to Emmaus.  I was struck by how Christ led the disciples in word and sacrament.

Luke 24

 13 That very day two of them were going to a village named Emmaus, about seven miles  from Jerusalem, 14 and they were talking with each other about all these things that had happened. 15 While they were talking and discussing together, Jesus himself drew near and went with them. 16 But their eyes were kept from recognizing him. 17 And he said to them, “What is this conversation that you are holding with each other as you walk?” And they stood still, looking sad. 18 Then one of them, named Cleopas, answered him, “Are you the only visitor to Jerusalem who does not know the things that have happened there in these days?” 19 And he said to them, “What things?” And they said to him, “Concerning Jesus of Nazareth, a man who was a prophet mighty in deed and word before God and all the people, 20 and how our chief priests and rulers delivered him up to be condemned to death, and crucified him. 21 But we had hoped that he was the one to redeem Israel. Yes, and besides all this, it is now the third day since these things happened. 22 Moreover, some women of our company amazed us. They were at the tomb early in the morning, 23 and when they did not find his body, they came back saying that they had even seen a vision of angels, who said that he was alive. 24 Some of those who were with us went to the tomb and found it just as the women had said, but him they did not see.” 25 And he said to them, “O foolish ones, and slow of heart to believe all that the prophets have spoken! 26 Was it not necessary that the Christ should suffer these things and enter into his glory?” 27 And beginning with Moses and all the Prophets, he interpreted to them in all the Scriptures the things concerning himself.28 So they drew near to the village to which they were going. He acted as if he were going farther, 29 but they urged him strongly, saying, “Stay with us, for it is toward evening and the day is now far spent.” So he went in to stay with them. 30 When he was at table with them, he took the bread and blessed and broke it and gave it to them. 31 And their eyes were opened, and they recognized him. And he vanished from their sight. 32 They said to each other, “Did not our hearts burn within us while he talked to us on the road, while he opened to us the Scriptures?” 33 And they rose that same hour and returned to Jerusalem. And they found the eleven and those who were with them gathered together, 34 saying, “The Lord has risen indeed, and has appeared to Simon!” 35 Then they told what had happened on the road, and how he was known to them in the breaking of the bread.

Now, these disciples had had a very bad and confusing few days.  Their hoped for saviour had been crucified, yet there were rumors that he had risen.  They didn't know what to make of all that had happened, so they were going home.  But Jesus loves his disciples and won't let them stay in a state of confusion, so he gives them the word, his word, himself.  He helps them to understand.  Then he gives them himself, revealed by the breaking of the bread.  The disciple response isn't to go to bed deeply satisfied after their long journey.  No, their response is to go and tell.

Isn't that what we, the body of Christ should do?  Come together to find clarity and hope in God's word, let Christ reveal himself to us in the eucharist, so that we will be strengthened in wisdom and faith to share Christ with the world?

Yeshua The Super Jew-100% Kosher

This provocative title is actually the name of the first of four talks to be given by Brian Kvasnica at St. John Lutheran Church on September 25 and 26.  I have not met Brian, but have heard rave reviews from many of my friends who have had the pleasure of his knowledge and understanding of Christianity's relationship with Judaism as he has guided them through Israel.  If you'd like to find out for yourself what could be the meaning behind such a title, come out this weekend and give him a listen.

Remembering

Yesterday, I stopped by to pay our car insurance at the local office.  The agent who I saw there, I hadn't seen since last November.  Early November.  As Olivia and I were entering through the doorway, the agent's face lit up and she asked where was my "baby on board" sign.  She didn't know that I had lost our baby just weeks after having seen her last.  I told her we had lost the baby and I could see the regret on her face immediately.  She told me how sorry she was.  I told her it was all right, that it had been tough, but that we were okay.  She explained again that she was so sorry.  What I then told her and what I hope she takes to heart is that it really is okay, that it is just so good that she remembered.  She remembered our baby.

The word remember is a particularly interesting word, suggesting more than merely a thought, but a bringing back together.  To re-member.  The Greek work for this is anamnesis.  When the church celebrates the Eucharist, this word, anamnesis, is used to describe what happens.  Christ is present.  Christ is remembered.

By faith we know that those who die in the Lord are not in fact dead, but are resting in Jesus.  What does this mean exactly when we remember our loved ones?  I am not sure, but am convinced it is more than a thought.

Liturgy and Life

I have been preparing to teach a class on the Christian Liturgy.  One of my main concerns as I work out how to present what I'm learning is how to break the liturgy down, to take it apart, without killing the mystery and life which it holds, such as what happens when one dissects a frog, leaving an understanding of systems but losing on understanding of its "frogginess", or as Bitzer from Hard Times, by Dickens, would understand a horse.

'Bitzer,' said Thomas Gradgrind. 'Your definition of a horse.'

'Quadruped. Graminivorous. Forty teeth, namely twenty-four grinders, four eye-teeth, and twelve incisive. Sheds coat in the spring; in marshy countries, sheds hoofs, too. Hoofs hard, but requiring to be shod with iron. Age known by marks in mouth.' Thus (and much more) Bitzer.

'Now girl number twenty,' said Mr. Gradgrind. 'You know what a horse is.'

Perhaps the only way to prevent such a thing from happening is to participate.  Just as we would greatly increase our understanding of "frogginess" by observing frogs in their natural habitat  or of horses by living around them as did Sally Jupe, a.k.a., girl number twenty, and even more so by becoming a frog or a horse if that were possible, Christ invites us to participate in the divine, looking forward to the Heavenly banquet, we may partake of it in the here and now in the bread and the wine, because Christ himself is present.  Christ lives in us and we in him.  That is what prevents the liturgy from becoming a just a system or ritual or set of theories.

Bureaucracy and Freedom

I really enjoy watching Governor Christie answer the press's questions.  He's such a straight shooter, that he reveals more than the inquirer really wants to know.  Here he is answering a question of how New Jersey lost money from the federal government in the "Race to the Top" program.  There are a few things to observe and a few questions to be asked after watching this.

For one thing, this is the kind of bureaucratic decision making that brings about nightmares for anyone needing to deal with the government.  Just how necessary are all those forms and just how much information is needed to asses the progress of a state's schools?  Why is the federal government even involved in a state's education policies?  Has there been any improvement in education since the beginning of the federalization of education in the early 20th century?

 I admire greatly,  the Governor's taking the heat and not firing a mid-level employee for an understandable and repairable mistake.  The fact that the missing information was easily attainable by the feds and was even given to them verbally shows the frightening power those who work in the federal government have over those who rely on them.  I can't  imagine that this decision would have been made if  Governor Christie were a Democrat.   The more individuals, communities, states, etc. rely on the federal government for any kind of funding, the more power it will have over our everyday lives and we will be subject to their whims and political allegiances.  Conversely, if the state of New Jersey finds itself unshackled by the demands of the federal government, it may in fact  have the flexibility to better educate its children and exercise a bit more freedom.

This is just another example of why we homeschool.

What's Eating You?

Jesus says,

I have come that you may have life, and that you may have it more abundantly.

And,

Take and eat, this is my body which is given for you.

I was thinking of this the other day, of how all the gods, demons, and idols of this world do not give life, but take it. They feed on us, whether the gods Molech, Baal, the Aztec god, Tezcatlipoca, the Greek/Roman system of gods, the gods of Hindu or ancestral spirits in Africa. All require sacrifice, some even human sacrifice to please and feed them. 

C.S. Lewis' character Screwtape expresses this well in The Screwtape Letters

To us a human is primarily food; our aim is the absorption of its will into ours, the increase of our own area of selfhood at its expense.

As does the apostle, Peter,

Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.

These are simply the obvious gods, but the idols of this world are even more subtle than this. We in the west, people of technology and materialism have our own idols. We, ironically, are called consumers, yet we work to make money to buy things that eat at our time and energy, and what is this life but our time and energy?  We kill time watching television or surfing the internet. We buy too much and the wrong kind of food so that our health deteriorates at a faster pace than normal. Temporarily we feel powerful, then at times wonder why our lives feel out of control, why our relationships seem shallow and where our time has gone.

Then we come to Jesus' words,

If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it.

On it's face, doesn't this seem contradictory?  Jesus wants to give us life, yet he requires we lose it.  If God and the demons require sacrifice, then what's the difference?

One thing we must consider is the nature of sacrifice.  God commanded Israel to sacrifice, not because he needed anything or required cajoling in return for some favour.  God required sacrifice for the life of mankind, to show the grievousness of sin and to prepare the way for Jesus' sacrifice which was for all sins for all time.  The fact is, is that we all sacrifice, we all live to something, but it is in living to God, which Jesus has shown, that we are to truly and fully live.

What is the purpose of sacrifice?  It is love.  Love by nature is sacrificial, but when we separate love of God and people from the sacrifice then it is all for naught.
 
The apostle Paul says,

 If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned,  but have not love, I gain nothing.

We may have life, and have it abundantly, yet how much I sacrifice to the idols of this age.

Kyrie eleison.

The Best Political Ad.

I've seen in a long time.

There is a reason why the Republican party continues to hearken back to Ronald Reagan.  He not only was an outstanding communicator, but understood the value of liberty down to his bones.  He had another gift in that he did not confuse disagreeing with a person's beliefs with dislike for that person.  I think we have lost that distinction to a great extent in our society, whether in politics, church, or in the culture at large.  We could learn a lot from this great man.

Tea And Scones

or coffee and chocolate cake or milk and cookies, but please, no cupcakes!  Cupcakes, when they were used normally are actually okay in my book, but these twee, wine paired, over the top monstrosities have got to go.  What is an appropriate use of cupcakes?  Pot-lucks and school room birthdays.

The idea of a cupcake is so that one can serve a lot of people a bit of cake and icing without having to use utensils, but not anymore.  Just try eating one of these bloated, icing globbed creations without a fork or knife.  It's impossible unless you enjoy icing shoved into your nostrils.  And now, they're everywhere, springing up in towns, cities, and television shows near you. In the small city in which I live there are at least two.  Not surprisingly, even Congress has installed a cupcake toppings bar.    

I am not against this trend simply to be anti-trend.  I am against it because it is childish and expensive.  It's like ordering a daiquiri when one can have a great gin and tonic.    I long for the return the real bakeries with fresh tarts, scones, cakes, pies, french bread, croissants, hard rolls, and hot cross buns during Lent.  A small selection of cupcakes that can be eaten in hand for those under eight years old may be tolerated.

The End Of College

Here's an article at Daily Finance, which lists seven reasons not to send your kids to college.  All the reasons given have to do with finances - basically that one will not receive a proper return on the investment.  I think we have gotten things completely mixed up as to the purpose of college.  It used to be its purpose was to obtain an education and the purpose of an education was to become more fully human, to expand one's mind and shape proper sensibilities so as to know and understand what is true, good and beautiful.

If one wants a career, wouldn't apprenticeships be a much better solution than four to five years of classes and thousands of dollars of debt? 

Toward the end of the article a few suggestions are given as to how to receive an education without college:  traveling abroad, volunteering or simply reading.  I think a great deal can be learned under a wise tutor or professor, but that is not what many of our colleges offer anymore, nor is it what is expected of them.

Joy, Happiness, Duty, or Love?

Rod Dreher and Damon Linker have had a bit of a back and forth regarding Jennifer Senior's article which asks why modern day parenting leads to unhappiness. Dreher proposes that parenting is not about happiness, but about joy and that happiness is transformed into joy in the sacrifice.  Linker takes him on by saying his position is too Kantian in choosing duty over self indulgence and calling it joy; that there has to be a more integrated, less polarizing way of looking at raising children based on the Aristotelian philosophy of happiness.  (Senior touches on this at the end of her article.) 

My mind keeps recalling the Wendell Berry book titled, What are People For?.  Isn't that a great title?  I imagine how one answers that question will reveal a great deal about, not only one's relationship with one's children, but also with all other relationships.  People aren't for using, to bring us joy or happiness, or to whom we must perform some sort of duty.  People are for loving and relating.  It's not easy and it goes beyond mere affection, but in the end, that is what people are for.  When one loves another, one forgets oneself and the evaluation of one's own happiness doesn't take place, because one's thoughts are of the other.  A true humility is present.

A loving parent changing a diaper isn't getting any happiness per se, but neither is he just doing his duty in this task.  The task is done for the good and health of the child.  In doing the task, he is building the relationship on trust and kindness.  In our family, diaper changing was often a time of singing and conversing, because we were relating to and caring for our child, a fellow human, made in the image of God.

This idea that another person is going to make one happy or bring fulfillment is very damaging to both parties.  It will lead to constant frustration, disappointment and blaming the other for one's misery.  The fact that so many surveys have been taken to measure parents' happiness, as is detailed in Senior's piece, is quite telling in itself.  You may not be evaluating your happiness, but some social scientist wants to.  I can't help but wonder why and to what purpose.   Are children now seen by society at large as a net loss?  It is starting to look that way.

Love looks out for the other, cares for the other, hopes for the good of the other.  In the words of St. Paul, Love never fails. I hope someone develops a survey to ascertain if having children encourages adults to be more loving.

Twenty Years And Counting

It is a strange phenomenon that what seems like just yesterday can also seem like 'has always been',  but we mark time, and the calendar tells it was twenty years ago today that David and I were married.

How to describe a life that has brought two people together with both things in common and things not, that has, through love and commitment, become a family?  I describe it as miraculous and beautiful.

With all the problems and joys that fill up twenty years, I thank God for his grace and wisdom that we have relied upon to see us to this point.  I thank David for being the man he is:  kind, industrious, intelligent, patient.  What great qualities to bring to a marriage and on which to create a family.  Even through the tragedies, I realize we have a beautiful life....we have loved each other well.

Happy Birthday, Emma!

Emma is now fourteen and becoming quite a lovely young woman.  This Saturday she'll be off on a mission trip with the youth group at church, soon followed by a week of dance intensive and then begins her freshman year of high school (homeschooled, of course).  I realize the life changes will come more quickly now, but I'm not apprehensive.  She is fun loving, responsible and has her own sense of style and of herself.  I have so much for which to be thankful and optimistic.  She is truly a blessing. 

Happy birthday, dear Emma.